2013 begins and it was a rough start. Since August and my last post, I have taken steps forward and then many, many steps back. Life is like that. Just when I think I am doing ok, another knock down. Yet I pick myself up again and again. And I am reminded: No one said this was going be easy.
I am still not divorced. It may finally be done by February/March. It is amazing how long this process takes. I lived with the ongoing verbal and emotional abuse through December when the not-soon-enough ex-husband moved out. We are able to have the kids 50/50...it is hard to be without my girls 50% of the time. But I am lucky as I see them almost everyday anyway when I pick them up from their dad's place for school.
My heart is broken again. The person I am in love with has this amazing way of working himself into my life, making promises he can't keep and then destroying me by leaving again. I know that I have allowed this to happen, as I want to believe in love and that there has been a purpose to all this angst.
I am realizing that the purpose is for me to LOVE MYSELF.
Today I read this: http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/01/07/the-myth-of-finding-your-purpose/.
And I know that even as I throw myself into work, keeping my house clean, helping my kids adjust to this new life, that I must forgive and love myself first.
Then I read this: http://oneword365.com/.
My word is: STRENGTH.
I knew immediately that this is my 2013 word. I knew yesterday as I ran on my treadmill and this morning as I woke up, that I was feeling much stronger than I have in months. I know the STRENGTH I will need now. And the strength I want to gain. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Having the strength to say no, and to say yes. Having the strength to find the goodness and be kind. Especially to myself. The strength to be the best mom I can be.
I am going to to get my custom button for this site and for this year from:
http://www.onlyabreath.com/2012/12/theyre-here-free-one-word-blog-buttons/
I am going to look back on 2012 and take note of all the negative moments, but then recognize the goodness that has come from those awful times.
STRENGTH.
What is your word for this year??
Amy
